Can old relationships be new again?

There's a group of longtime friends with which I am fortunate to belong, with a bond formed by college, football, families, golf and investing time pretty consistently over the years. Granted periods of off again as life happened and now many are retired and have some time.

Where I'm going with this and will try to share here to provide some helpful insight, hopefully, is that while we didn't realize it or call it such, we have been one big group therapy session, as I may have mentioned in previous writings.

The issue most relevant to this writing is that while some are married for some time, including me, more than I'd like to say have lost their spouses.

We and I have tried to help each other through the pain, depression, heartache and loss as best we could.

The point is this, after a good amount of time, healing, grieving and the emotion that goes with it, some have found new companions.

Being married for decades, I wonder and have asked how it must be to approach a potential new companion after all these years with an open mind and freshness; knowing how set in our ways many of us have become.

I am told while some of these ladies were known previously in a different capacity which has helped the familiarity at this juncture, there are not a lot of games, pretense or questions as there might have been when younger.

Being open, curious, sensitive, courteous, respectful and yes, embracing things and others habits later in life.

I'm told it may happen naturally; they have good memories or current feelings which motivate and energize, to be patient, invest time and embrace new families and friends to some degree without dwelling on where it might lead.

My takeaway at this point:

Why can't a decades old married guy and couple approach their relationship in similar fashion?

The familiarity, personality traits and habits could tend to one being unaware, insensitive to them or perhaps to some extent even annoyed by them (I'm told), with communication breaking down.

The fresh perspective sparked from anticipation, gratitude and a bit of wonder can provide some excitement and help to avoid loneliness as many have experienced.

We all have an opportunity to look at, and I'm fortunate, with fresh eyes at my decades old relationship and make regular efforts as to why we enjoy each other , how we could come together, work on it, invest in it and thrive over the years.

Going for coffee, schedule time to listen and keep learning about the one you're with, and as fortunately, she continues to learn, grow and want to be with me and make the ongoing effort as well, resulting in growing together, not apart.

There is no standing still or status quo in relationships; you are growing together or apart.

So, working on being sensitive, making time to appreciate the differences and nuances of a person and accept it; some of the things we are both committed to-being sensitive and adapt, make time together to support each other's independence and plans and find as many common satisfying points where they align with each other and develop them.

Periodically, we get off track and distracted with mostly wonderful things like kids and grandkids, family and friends. We will remember to take care of each other, talk about it and act accordingly.

If I forget or screw up now and then, my better half and my longtime therapy group will be eager to remind me !!