Ties that Bind

Many years ago, we knuckleheads met playing college football. Coming to camp before our 4 year college journey officially began, reporting to football pre-season for three a day drills and were introduced to the dormitories.

Long hair , apprehensive attitudes AND attitudes we had - determined to play, make the team and begin what was for many our 7th or 8th year of tackle football. Somewhat clueless and hormone driven but united in a well-reputed small Midwest liberal arts college embarking on the unknown not knowing a soul.

Fast forward, we mostly grew out of our goofball syndromes, eventually graduated and became contributing constructive citizens, providing for ourselves our families and communities.

Decades later (what happened in between then and now is the subject for 1000 other blogs), I am thinking about those early days, the ties that bind today, and fortunately, the bond is stronger than ever.

For a variety of reasons with all of our baggage, over time we began to draw upon compassion, a dash of selflessness a sense of leaving things better than we had it (and we were fortunate to have it pretty good) and perhaps a bit of our own mortality in our minds. It was not at all linear as we ebbed and flowed with events in our families , jobs , moves, partners and hurdles, not always staying in touch.

Latest story is that of a college buddy who is not the biggest guy in stature(I can say that because he is still taller than me), but big on fighting for the underdog, tells me about losing a high school friend recently who had nothing growing up, very slight in stature, tackling some demons along the way but he was trying hard to be a part of some high school sports teams. Our buddy and others got behind him and made him a part of the team embracing and supporting him.

That same team of 12 high school teammates assembled in his hospital room a day before he passed. My buddy saying a few words before he broke down yet still led the effort to raise money from the guys to give their friend a proper goodbye and funeral service.

In a quiet moment when my friend was alone with his failing high school friend he talked, comforted him, savored moments of silence and held his hand singing familiar songs to fill the quiet time and propped his friend up all the way till the end.

When you hear a story like that, I sometime think I know what the rest of the story looks like; and most often I do not! and am surprised, humbled once again and reminded of how much I still have to learn.

In this case, this young man taught himself to be an accomplished artist and creator of orchestra quality violins, perhaps not charging enough and appreciating fully his growth and accomplished path.

While very difficult circumstances, I love this example and am touched by it and the mystery and power of the human spirit and somehow/someway I believe it is shaped and guided by the Holy Spirit. Have faith!

Our motley crew of college freshmen have managed to support, learn from, inspire, surprise each other for decades and I hope that we do that to the end. Our own support group, with no psychology fees but a coffee, beer or entertaining round of golf as prescribed.

After decades, I know each of us has practiced these attributes, achieved outcomes and made things a bit better.

Another example: our veterans and the noteworthy bond of the military whose bond is patriotism for our country and a selfless dedication to offer their lives to their fellow soldiers and for all of us citizens. This is perhaps the ultimate bond, literally, to sacrifice one's life for one's country.

Another bond is someone affected by a potentially fatal disease fighting for their life or the lives of those we love and are in some cases newly acquainted; they bond together to support and draw strength and hope from one another.

If you are a veteran or impacted by a disease, my heart goes out to you and my best wishes for you in your sacrifice and dedicated journey.

All of us can still work on our own bond. No matter the age, your upbringing, your plans in a healthy bond/relationship and the things that bring you together and more importantly keep you together, sustain your life and frankly all those around you as well.

It takes effort and not always getting or knowing what you need at the time, but you have a path to offer help to others; take that path. It gets your mind off your stuff.

There will be days that you don't feel like helping, but someone will reach out to you. It usually evens out.

Think about the ties that bind which you are investing in and building and the tremendous butterfly effect of them! It might start when you are an unsuspecting college freshman with little awareness and your whole world and life ahead of you.

I am told, and believe, it is one of a few key things in this life that can contribute to our good health and happiness.

Go connect!